Living without comforts

Colossians 1:13-14 (ESV)

“He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”

My birthday was 4 days away and I was turning 37 years old. I am still single and yet I am content because I have God in my life. I would be a nun if it were not for their strict rules and ways of living. No, I couldn’t stay in one place according to the rules of priests and the church. I feel the Holy Spirit pushing me to do other things, like writing… I am dyslexic so of course he would want me to write, only makes sense, right?

But there I was playing a game that night, feeling that the Holy Spirit was prompting me to take a leap of faith and get out of my comfort zone. Go to the United Kingdom. I did not even know where I would live over there. All I had was the feeling of restlessness and anxiety in my retirement so far. As if I could not just enjoy my purchased home, monthly pension from my sugar daddy, Uncle Sam, and die at a ripe old age in Lancaster Ohio. No, I can’t retire and enjoy the rest of my life. I needed to leave out of my comfort zone because my soul was feeling the pull. How else can I explain that I should have been okay where I was, but my spirit was saying something else?

I had taken a stand months before when I was reading the Lesser Teachings of Solomon. It is a book that apparently was written by King Solomon, the son of King David. King Solomon was given a ring and was told to capture and retain the princes of evil. They were strong demons that were wreaking havoc all over the world in those days. This is not in the Bible, by the way. In this book, it showed symbols that were used for each devil. And from each devil, you could summon them into the seal that had a circle around it to keep them from killing you or possessing you and each had different things that you could obtain from them. There was a temptation in my heart and mind to want to gain power to have revenge on those who caused pain and terror. I wanted to be a vigilante, I really wanted to obtain power and be like a Marvel hero. To fight and to have a huge impact in the world. In my mind, I justified the power to glorify God. I wanted the ability to foretell the future and to know and see demonic spirits and know what to say and what people needed. I wanted power to no longer feel fear, but to be confident and bold in the face of danger. To be like Superman and save people from peril and fire. I am sure I am not the only one to fantasize about this… The demons captured had the ability to give knowledge, money, power, and more. There was temptation to seek a medium and there was temptation to summon the demons.

However, I remembered when King Saul had sought a medium to speak to the prophet Samuel and this upset God so much the Holy Spirit left him. I knew that if I was to do any of the things that I was tempted to. There would be no forgiveness. The Bible was clear not to seek strength & clarity through anything other than God. I was afraid the Holy Spirit would leave me, and the demons would just kill me. There would not be any protection for me in my actions and I might just unleash an evil entity in Lancaster, Ohio. King Solomon was given a ring from God to be protected. How stupid it would be to die this way. I would upset God after everything God had done for me. God loves me, He saved me, Jesus Christ died and suffered for my sake, why would I do this to Him? I made a stand.

I became angry at my temptation and made a proclamation that I would only seek knowledge, wisdom, discernment, and power through God. If it was not from God, then I did not want it. After that, the temptations left me, and I got up and went to the grocery store to get some food. When I walked into the store where the produce was. There was only one man, a very intriguing man who looked like he was from the middle east. Standing by the strawberries, whistling. I looked him over, observing him as he observed the package of strawberries in his hand and whistled a happy tune.

It was strange because I don’t think I ever heard anyone whistling in the store. Everyone always goes about their shopping talking on the phone or not at all. Also, the general population of Lancaster, Ohio was made up of white people and red necks. A place of country fairs, trucks, jeeps, farming, and church. For me to see someone who looks like they are from Saudi Arabia, was intriguing. I couldn’t help but stare at him as he happily observed the strawberries, as if they were a peculiar sort of thing and whistled. He didn’t even have a shopping cart. I really like strawberries, but I decided to skip that section as I walked past. He looked at me and smiled, I felt rude for staring but I mustered up a smile. I was just so bewildered by this man, especially after making my proclamation to God.

I couldn’t help that it felt like it was correlated to my reading of Solomon’s incantations and my decision to make the stand to glorify God, his way. I never saw the mysterious man again, but I never forgot that moment… I always wondered if it was coincidence, was he good or not good? I ended up throwing that book away when I was in South London, later on. It’s kind of a funny story. When it came time for me to make my way to London. I drove 8 hours from Ohio to New York. I left my car in New York to be picked up and shipped to the UK and I went to the airport. At first my flight was delayed from 10 pm to 2 am, so I slept in the airport and woke up to a cancelled flight. Delta booked me with Virgin Airlines because they work together, or something and the new flight was at 8 am. I slept longer in the airport because in New York traffic, there was no point in leaving to a hotel to sleep for a couple of hours and then experience traffic again to come back to the airport. I tried to check in for my flight at 8 am at the Virgin Airlines gate and they saw Ace and told me that they hadn’t done any paperwork to allow him access to the flight. Yes, they are with Delta, but not really with Delta, if you know what I mean. (eye roll).

I was sent back to Delta, and I am about to cry because I am exhausted. Ace only had 120 hours to get into the UK from the time he received his dewormer. Ace is a dog, if you hadn’t read my previous posts. The dewormer countdown started Friday, and it was now Tuesday. I had to leave that day to make it, otherwise the treatment would be void. I am thinking at this point that I paid for all his vet bills and drove 8 hours for nothing. Because I don’t have money to get a hotel in New York, find a veterinarian for another dewormer pill. I am also very annoyed with Delta for the delay, cancellation, and carelessness in booking with Virgin Airlines without sharing documentation for a service dog. They rebooked my flight for 8 pm Tuesday evening. I had to wait 12 hours more before taking a 7-hour flight to the UK and arrived on the 4^th of October instead of the 2nd. And they felt a couple of food vouchers would suffice. I had to call them to explain why that wasn’t enough and the best they could do was $100 towards my next flight with Delta…

Ace and I finally made it to the UK, I picked up my rental, and I drove to my hostel. I found out that the manager is not okay with dogs and doesn’t know what a service dog is. I couldn’t call ahead because I struggled to understand what number to press to reach the UK. Let’s just say I’m dyslexic, adhd, and struggle badly with technology. Nonetheless, he said no AND didn’t want to give me a refund. A nice young man from Australia, ran out to confront the manager and got him to give me at least half a refund. I was defeated, I wasn’t going to take my anger out on the innocent staff, when the coward had left instead of telling me to my face. I thanked the Australian guy, and he helped me reload my suitcase and gave me a free water bottle. He’s 21, so that is a no on whatever you are thinking about between us.

I needed to find another place to stay but I couldn’t think straight anymore. I was just so tired. Ace had been in vehicles for a long while, between 8 hour drive, 24 hours in the airport, 7 hours on the plane, and then another 55 minutes from the airport to our hostel. I decided to take him to Hyde Park to stretch out his legs. I had a yoga mat, a pillow, and towel and took a nap right there in the park. I woke up to Ace sitting upright, stoically next to my side. I took out my phone to search for a hotel and overheard a man some yards away on a bike, talking to a couple who were also on bikes. “Yea, it’s so sad, homelessness has really ramped up in the last couple of years.” I looked at him as he pointed to me and the couple followed their gaze and he said, “There’s one right there.” The couple looked at me sadly. I looked around me, wondering if there was a homeless man close behind. There wasn’t…

Anyway, I did eventually find a nice room in the countryside of Surrey, an hour south of London. Beautiful, gated community, I thought there wouldn’t be any unnecessary drama here! Sometime after moving in, I found out one of my flat mates, a professional man, who owns his own company, struggles with demons. He can hear them, see them, and is occasionally attacked by them. He also suffers from bipolar and coke addiction. I have no doubt all of that is related. First his husky gashed Ace’s face and then he picked Ace up and injured him when setting him down. Ace was nervous around him. Sometimes he growled at Ace, other times he wanted to pick Ace up. I told him no, but he essentially stated that he knew better than me and was a genius and that I didn’t know, s*&%. Until he set Ace down and Ace’s leg went outwards, and he started screaming. Ace has had problems with his leg ever since. I was already searching for another place to live, and I kept noticing a black shadow in the corner of my eye. Like a black cat darting in the corner of the room or just past my vision. I was having a very hard time trying to find a place, because everyone saw a husky in my profile, wild untamed wolf, apparently. And they couldn’t take my word that he was a gentle, beautiful, intelligent service dog.

My flat mate was already in the process of moving out and I asked him if I could help him move out… But he had started acting scared of me! Like he was very afraid of me coming near him or touching him. Finally, he admitted that he had been feeling oppressed by the demons more than usual. I thought, that’s because I am praying for you. But then he said, “I had a feeling that my oppression had something to do with someone in the house. So, I started to rebuke each name and when I got to your name. You came out of your room screaming.”

I was like, “No, I didn’t!” He assured me that I did. I thought, I would remember coming out of my room screaming, what an odd thing to do! Then he told me the exact day, two days prior in the evening. And I thought back to that time… And I remembered… How do I explain this? You ever been so tired, you just wanted to do a Will Ferrell type of yawn? Just over the top, loud kind of a, “Ah! Aoaaoahooh!” And then shake that sleepy demon off! I had no idea that rebuking was needed. Then he said, “That’s why bad things have been happening to you and Ace! The demons told me you have been doing witchcraft and they are planning to kill you. You need to fast for 7 days.”

I fasted for 3 days and prayed, just because I felt unsafe just from talking to that guy. And then I thought of the Lesser book of Solomon and decided for safe measure, I’ll throw that away too. All I needed was the Bible and some theological teachings on scripture, written by great people. When that man left the house, I stopped seeing the black entity in the corner of my eye. I asked to join hands and pray for him, but he backed away terrified and left the house. I have to say, that demons will be terrified if you have the Holy Spirit. At the time, I was wondering what I had done wrong and why God allowed all these circumstances to happen. But I realized that when you are not home (heaven) and you’re walking through the valley of shadows. God protects you from much, but it doesn’t mean bad things won’t happen. We live in Satan’s domain; he is literally opening the gates of hell into this world, and we are all suffering. It doesn’t matter if you are saved or not saved, but I rather go through this world with God than to do it alone!

I will experience problems, just as Biblical history figures did. Job, I mean I haven’t even gone through nearly a quarter of what he experienced and yet he never cursed God’s name! That is amazing because when I was in the airport wondering why God isn’t preventing all this inconvenience. Satan was saying, “Are you sure God is real?” I had to make a stand, if God allowed it, then so be it! I struggled with money and got a scratch off ticket to see if I could turn my £1 to £1,000. I was thinking God is against gambling and the love of money; do I need to ask Satan for money? I kid you not, I heard loudly, like more than just a thought. A male voice said, “Is that an invitation?” It scared me and stopped gambling, silly scratch off or not! What I have is how much God trusts me with. I was investing too much into cakes, donuts, and coffee. It wasn’t until I left the UK and lived in my car, eating tuna from cans and crackers to really see what I was capable of living on. I needed to lose weight and I finally did! Now that I am back in the UK, the old temptations for comfort foods have come back to haunt me. So pray for me, please. And pray for yourself to learn what God sees in your heart. Start making a stand against the devil. Let me know if you have had any experiences like these.