Camp Mulino II, Italy

Anto set up an appointment for Ace. He had been inactive, not following me everywhere I go as he normally did. I knew his leg had been hurting him, ever since January. When my ex-housemate picked him up and upon setting him down on the kitchen floor, Ace’s leg went outwards and was never right again. I took him to the vet for pain meds and they suggested rest and time. An x-ray would have cost £1,000 in England, so I did not get it done. He managed alright on Metacam, but the mountainous terrain at the camp was getting to him and now he just lay in his bed in pain.

At the vet’s office, there were some staff members that could translate for me to the Orthopedic vet. The vet was a very tall man with big lips and a bigger smile. He was kind and gentle with Ace, but I could tell he was not keen on going near Ace’s face. I suspected that he was afraid my husky would bite him. The risk of the occupation, when inflicting pain on a dog by pushing and scoping out their sore spots. I would be concerned about the canine’s canines too.

The vet felt around, I told the woman who translated for me, that I thought it was his muscle. Since the accident in January, seemed like an immediate change in his pain and has never been right, since. Not even with rest and anti-inflammatory medication. But the vet felt differently, he prescribed arthritis medication and said if he did not get better in a couple of weeks. Then come back for an x-ray of his leg to make sure it was not bone cancer.  

I tried not to focus on the worst outcome, I was already struggling with my own sickness as I weened off of anti-depressants. The withdrawal effects were nausea, emotional swings, migraines, and electrical zaps to the brain if I turned my head too quickly. May was also the anniversary of my sister’s death. I tossed and turned in my bed, as my mind would not shut off. How long should I stay here? Ace was hurting and I just did not like the idea of getting back in my car and going on the road again. I was constantly short of money and wondering how I was going to get from point A to B, sleep, toiletries, and food. I had to be mindful of food going bad without having refrigerator or being able to cook. I was tired, but I could not sleep.

So, I got up and went out to a secluded area on the wooden deck below. The wood creaked and made me feel uneasy, I imagined it giving out at any moment under my weight, but the Holy Spirit was calling me out to give praise and worship. The stars were visible away from the light pollution and I saw a shooting star. I had once read a book by Paulo Coelho, called Warrior of Light. I prayed to God to make me an ultimate warrior of light in his glory. I asked to be a prophetess of these times, to give the wisdom and strength of the prophets of the Bible to me. To proclaim, I am here God, who else has come before you? This is why you have made me…

It was bold, but if I am a child of God and if his promises are true. Then I am cleansed by the blood of Christ, I am friends with the Holy Spirit. I wanted to be the Bride of Christ. I prayed for Israel, because they are God’s people and I wanted to be closer to God. I felt the Holy Spirit tell me to go back to my cabin, but I refused to leave until I was certain I would get what I asked for. Seven times, over, I prayed and included that where God is, I want to be.

The following days, I received the Verse of the Day;

SATURDAY: “But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.” – Ruth 1:16 NIV

SUNDAY: “Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!” – Luke 1:45 NIV

MONDAY: “For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” – Matthew 7:8 NIV

Following these messages in my Bible app’s daily scripture, I started to get resistance at the camp. The Administrator began to complain about Ace being in the Dining Hall where I ate and in the reception area where I worked on my computer. She made it known that her allergies were bothering her, and she was not happy. She also made it known that she never approved of me staying in the worker’s cabin, even though I was paying a small fee and volunteering to work doing yardwork. I was told I could hang out in the living room/tv room, but she started to go in there and make a face when she looked at Ace laying in his bed. Which was strange to me, since there was a small dog that lived there with one of the staff members. He had been living there for 2 years and she worked on a campsite, described as pet friendly.

I informed her that I also had allergies, which is why I carried my inhaler, nasal spray, and allergy pills. But she did not believe in these remedies and would hear nothing of it. It was her home and I was not supposed to have stayed so long. Problem was that I did not have enough money to get to my next destination and I had a follow up appointment for Ace because the medication was not working. I did my best to stay away from the administrator. I came in to eat after she was done and leaving when she entered the room. My emotions were downcast, my allergies were really bad in the workers cabin because I shared the home with a smoker. And I increasingly grew worried about Ace’s condition as the he didn’t improve much with medication.

Then I got into an argument with another female at the camp. It started when there was a fawn that had been brought in by the gardener who accidentally knicked it in the face with the streamer (a weedwhacker with a metal blade, instead of the plastic line that Americans use). The fawn was okay, we put antiseptic on the wound, and I recommended calling the animal services for advice. But otherwise, to put it back, because the mother would still take care of it. The only worry was that our scent was on it now, which could attract predators. The fawn was put back, but later that night. One of the volunteers, a 60-year-old, yoga instructor from Germany had taken the fawn and put it in her cabin. She was worried, because she said it was cold outside. She tried to feed the bambi milk from the bottle, but it was not interested. She left the baby deer in her room as she flirted with the handyman, smoked cigarettes, and hung out in his room. I listened as the baby cried until 2 am.

In the morning, it was crying again. The walls were paper thin, so I could hear everything. The woman asked in a baby voice, “What’s wrong?!” I was so mad… I kept telling myself, just let it be, mind your own business. I came out of my cabin for breakfast and talked to Fabio about it crying all night. When I went back to my cabin, she was cradling the fawn in a blanket, looking at it as if she could be its adopted mother. Proud of what she had. I asked her if she was going to put it back, she said no. I informed her that it needed to go back to its mother, who could care for it better than she could. She let me know that everyone had said that the mother would not take it back, since their scent was now on it. The argument started.

I told her that wasn’t true but she insisted that everyone said so! I really didn’t give a shit about what the majority would say, a lot of times the larger group of people were wrong. She told me I wasn’t an expert, I told her that I had done a Master’s degree in Human Animal Interactions, which covers wild, domestic, and agricultural relationships. She didn’t care, I told her, “You are going to kill that baby.” Shocked by my statement, the yoga instructor became very angry and walked past me. I tried one more time, “Did anyone call the wildlife animal rescue for advice?” Then, like a kid with no good come back, she told me to shut up.

Following up to lunch, I had wondered if I had been too harsh in saying that she was going to kill the bambi. I was kicking myself for opening my mouth, because I already knew what kind of person she was. I have rescued animals before, never a bambi, but they need feeding every 2-3 hours, and not just any milk. Wildlife experts always recommended leaving the bambi alone, just leave it alone! Unless it showed signs of dehydration and hunger. When I initially inspected it, I pulled the skin to check for hydration, the skin went back in place immediately and it was not interested in being bottle fed. It never got up to walk, so I suspected it was a week old. It was so tiny and cute. I could understand why someone would want to keep it, but it wasn’t ethical to do so when the mother was a better caretaker.

Determined to make things okay, since I would eat lunch with this women everyday. I saw her at the lunch table and told her that I was sorry I had made her upset with my words. She was immediately defensive and told me it wasn’t good enough and that I needed to take back what I had said. I felt myself become defensive and another argument ensued as I let her know that I couldn’t because I was stating the truth. This yoga instructor did not know anything about caring for a wild animal and was she really willing to get up every 2-3 hours to feed it all through the night?! She was planning on going back to Germany in a few days, who would care for it then? Because nobody else wanted it in their cabin, I knew that because she told me so. Which is why she decided upon herself to save it from the cold night. I reminded her that if it was born in the wild, it would be alright. She stated again that I wasn’t an expert. I got so mad, I told her that I never had a 70-year-old tell me to shut up, like they were a child with no come back.

That comment hurt her ego, I could see for a second her eyes water a little. She reminded me of the actress, Jessica Lange. She wore skintight clothes, died her hair blonde, and wore her makeup even while doing hard laborious yardwork. She responded back, “You know, you scare me, because you are a liar. I talked to Fabio and he told me that you said the bambi was crying all night and it wasn’t. People talk, you know… So I’m going to stay away from you, because you scare me.”

I looked at Fabio, who was sitting right next to me. He didn’t look at either of us, he just ate his food awkwardly. I wasn’t sure how to handle that statement, so I just agreed, “Yea, I’m okay with staying away from you.” Anto tried to make light of the moment, but her words were the breaking point for me. She joked that people try to apologize, but don’t apologize for what they actually said or did. To which the yoga woman laughed and said, “Yea, like Christians going to church and not really repenting for their sins!” Tears pricked my eyes. I had enough and I wasn’t going to sit there and listen to back handed comments. I needed to leave, I wasn’t welcomed anymore and I could feel the tension building. I got up from the table and went back to my cabin to pack.

I could feel my chest squeezing, I was having a panic attack as Ace looked at me pleadingly not to go back in the car and travel around again. I cried as I packed and kissed Ace, apologizing. “This is not our home, baby.” I put my stuff in the doorway and was confronted by the handyman, whom I shared the house with. He loved Ace and was always very friendly to me. He did not want us to leave. He stood in the doorway and said, No. He didn’t speak English, so it was the only communication that he could manage. No, he repeated, and I told him, yes. Tears went down my cheeks and I could not look him in the eyes. I was already too upset.

Before I left, I was able to calm down enough to have closure with everyone. The yoga instructor put the bambi back. I hugged Chef goodbye and let those who appreciated Ace say their last goodbyes. I showered, because I didn’t know when I would get my next one. And I let Anto, my friend know, that her words had upset me more than anything the 60-year-old had said that day. I did one last check to make sure I didn’t leave anything and cleaned my cabin space, vacuuming and leaving it in better condition than when I had come into it.

Then I left and slept in my car in a parking lot close to the vet’s office, so that Ace could do his follow up. For the anesthetic, x-ray, Librela shot, and pain medication, came to €112. This was a 10th of what I would have paid in England. The vet showed me the x-ray of Ace’s right hip having severe hip dysplasia. But the good news was that it wasn’t bone cancer. And for that, my spirits were lifted. In fact, the farther I got away from the Camp, the better I felt, like I needed to rip the band aid off, let go of the baby blanket. I needed to be brave again.