Reggio Calabria, Galliciano, & Bova Marina, Italy

While I was at Camp Mulino, I had a strange dream. I had been longing to see my old dog, my cats, and my old life with friends in America. I dreamed that my friend was telling me that she wanted me to come back home, because they missed me. When I looked into her eyes, they were a black charcoal color. I realized that this was not my friend, it was a demon trying to get me to go back home. The demon grabbed my breast, making me feel both instant pleasure and pain. I struggled to push her hands off me. In an instant, I was in my parents’ house and my mother faced me. But she looked young, like she was my age. With the same charcoal black eyes, the demon guilted me for not taking care of my parents. For leaving them behind as they struggled with their health and home. I rebuked the demon in the name of the Lord, and I woke up.

After I left North Italy, I headed South to Reggio Calabria, where I had booked a cheap room. By booking my stay and leaving the camp before getting paid my monthly pension. I risked not having enough money for gas. I used up the limit on my credit card to book the room. Just so you understand, to fill my 15-gallon sedan vehicle up with gasoline. It cost roughly €70 if not more. Sometimes I would see $90 coming out of my American bank account from filling up my tank. Sometimes the gas station put a hold of up to $270, when I purchased gas. This hold would stay pending for days, which was very inconvenient.

I found myself low on gas and still 6 hours away from Reggio, somewhere near Rome and I had no more to contribute towards fuel. Each card I used declined. I felt frustrated by my circumstances and like an individual from the bible, who would go through waves of emotions from good to bad and bad to good. I was in the bad range. I felt so low, I asked God, “Are you going to take care of me, or should I look somewhere else?! Do I need to prostitute myself or find a man? Because wicked people all around this world are rich and prosperous and I am poor and alone!”

I can’t remember how long after this conversation with God, but that night I received a message from my mother stating that the family had decided together to give up their Christmas money for my sake. I couldn’t believe it; my family had never done anything like that before. I had been too ashamed to tell them how badly I was struggling. I had only mentioned to my mom that I was getting homesick, longing for my old comforts. I cried, because I was so moved that my family would be willing to give up their Christmas for me.

I wasn’t sure when the money from family would come through, but just in case I reached out to two friends. My friend in Reggio, struggled to figure out a way to wirelessly send money. My other friend, who lived in Ohio, and struggled with disability like me. Despite just losing his recent job, he and his husband managed to send me $30 for gas and later sent me $50 more for food. The $30 toot me 6 hours all the way to my Airbnb. I explained to the Airbnb host that I had gotten stuck for some hours because I had no gas, so I arrived late. He was kind and met me close to midnight to let me in the building. He also gave me vouchers for free breakfast for the next 2 days.

The following days, I rested and met with my dear friend. Who I had not seen since I attended University of Stirling, back in 2017-18. We had met because Ace ran up to her and stood in front of her path. I called him, but he just stood there in her way, smiling at her. I couldn’t see her face because she was facing away from me. But I suspected from her hijab, that she did not come from a culture that had dogs as pets. I was right in this conclusion and in fact, she was very afraid of dogs. But she felt that there was something about the way that Ace looked at her, she could tell that he was friendly. She came over to me and I braced myself for getting told off. She did not tell me off, she admitted her fears and stated that she wanted to overcome them. Then she asked if I could help her do this. Our adventure was both moving and comical at times. If Ace moved unexpectedly, she would scream or jump away from him. Then she would realize that Ace and I were just looking at her amused and that there was no real threat. She would laugh at herself for her reactions and grew to love Ace as he charmed her over.

Unfortunately, my friend had to go to Egypt to be with family and I only had a couple of days to hangout. I wasn’t sure what to do next. I was given $100 from a family member and my friend in Reggio gave me an additional €50 in cash. I looked through Airbnb to see if there was a cheaper stay somewhere nearby and I found one 7 euros cheaper per night. On the map it looked like it was 15 minutes away, but when I put in my navigation, I realized it was an hour away. By the time I arrived high in the mountains of Borgo di Galliciano. A small town, formerly occupied by the Greeks. Beautiful small town, a huge workout to get from the car to the room with fleas. Ace and I tossed and scratching all night, like an unbuttered rotisserie chicken. It was brutal. I was still waiting for my monthly pension, and I was a few days away from the end of the month. Did I stay in the beautiful flea invested room or try the sea? I now received the Christmas money from another family member. I worried about the gaslight on in my car, indicating that I desperately needed a refill. The problem was that I was an hour away from the coastline and that was where the gas station was. I prayed to God and once more packed up my things.  I found a room with an ocean view and was desperate to get there. To relax until my next paycheck. I coasted down the mountainside, trying not to use the brake or the gas pedal and miraculously made it an hour all the way to my next stay.

I checked in and met my neighbors, a mother and adult daughter around my age, with their two female dogs. A Great Dane and an English Bulldog, both stayed in the shade and went out to the beach during the cooler times of the day. The women were from Czech, the one my age had once owned a CrossFit gym. She sold her share of the business and took her mother with her to enjoy life. Now she lived in front of the sea for months at a time, occasionally driving back to Prague to renew the visitor visa. All throughout Europe, visitation is a maximum of 3 months, unless you have a student or working visa.

With the sound of the waves at my door, I put on a sermon by Tony Evans, titled Follow God’s Instructions. I barely paid attention to it because my thoughts were on needing gas for my car. I finally got my monthly pension now and I had the budget set for the rest of the month. I debated whether I would use a visa card or get cash from the atm. If I used the card, it might try to hold a large amount, but if I withdrew money. The atm might have a problem again and not give me my money, but come out of my account just like what happened in April. I had to wait three weeks for the American bank to return the money that was not given to me through the atm. I turned the sermon off, feeling that it was disrespectful to keep it on when I was not paying attention.

I finally decided to go to the bank, so I would only have one international transfer fee, instead of several for different purchases. A mechanic had given me a gas canister to get gas because I feared I would run out of gas before making it to the gas station. I went through the motions of withdrawing money, but fearing the worst, I took out less than what I needed for the month. Still, what were the chances of having another April incident happening the following month? I waited for the money, as my card popped out, but instead of money coming out. The money slot to the machine started opening and shutting repeatedly while making odd noises. I scoffed and thought, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!”

Instead of waiting to see if my bank completed the pending transaction, I sent them a message with pictures of the incomplete transaction. Mind you, I am 37 and have traveled in the past to South Africa, Scotland, London, Mexico, Australia, and have never had this problem before. Now I was getting the same issue twice within 3 months.

I felt anger and I battled it. I was angry because God allowed this in my life. My emotions were mixed with feeling guilty, because what if I was failing the test again? Why am I angry over money that is given to me freely by God? I am retired at a young age; I am in an Airbnb in front of the ocean in Italy. I reasoned that these things that God allows are needless, it is stupid stress, unnecessary drama…

I heard in my spirit, God was kind to me and asked gently, “Why are you angry?” The truth was that the stress, and the stress was due to worry. The worry was that I would be without, because money seems to disappear quickly around me, whether it is my fault or not. I had already learned that just because I had the money, did not mean I was entitled to the gelato, cake, or rich steak meal. I was constantly practicing frugality with what I had and not lavishing myself in the moment, of every moment. It was not an easy lesson to have someone restrict things you were used to getting. Do you get your daily coffee every day? Imagine someone taking your coffee budget away and saying, you don’t need this. Imagine being on vacation and trying to eat with a poor man’s budget. I analyzed my thought process and concluded.

“Ok God, I will give this to you. Hopefully I finally understand the message that you are teaching me.” I was taught in church, that God can prevent many things to protect us. However, I am on a journey of understanding why God allows things to happen to us. It was one thing to hear it, it was another to live the fear and anxiety inducing situations. Practicing pushing away thoughts, and I was not sinning for having these thoughts. I just had a decision to make in those moments and the right choice was to remember God’s promises. To look to God to have him remind me of what He was doing. He was ingraining the idea that my God, despite the circumstances has my good in his eyes. He knows what I need for future dilemma, how to be strong in the word, understanding, patient, loving, kind, and continuously in prayer. My perspective had changed from what I was going through to how to viewing the world dramas around me. I live in Satan’s world!

Verse of the day…

“For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.” Colossians 1:13-14.

Want to know what the verse of the day, days before that?

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you: and when you pass through rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” Isaiah 43:2

So I practiced remembering, because my emotions are strong and it is hard to just push them away. But when I read my Bible and listened to sermons, something changed inside me. I prayed and talked to God and the sensation of worry and weight is released from my body. It is actually very amazing when you think about it. I was going to post the Following God’s Instructions, that I had went back to and actually listened to after the atm incident. But I can’t find it…This is a good one, though. Relatable to situations of hardships in everyday life.