A restless heart is an annoying condition to have. I have many comforts and blessings, but I ask myself “Why am I discomforted?” It is like an anxiety, a fear of living a life that is not productive. What can I do?

I travel the world and many say that is a dreamy life, but I struggle with loneliness. I have God and I have Ace, my service dog, but I am missing intimacy with another human being. I currently am living with an Airbnb host, but his English is limited. More strangely than that, when I first came to stay, I had to pray to be compassionate and loving in heart toward this stranger. Have you ever come around someone and immediately you feel annoyed by them? I cannot explain it, but I had to fight to change my thoughts against this unsuspecting individual. It doesn’t matter why I felt that way, there is no justification to dislike someone you do not know.

What an amazing predicament to want to be around someone and be afraid at the same time. To want comfort and hate the sedentary lifestyle. I fill my days with working on a script, taking Ace for walks, and doing light cleaning. I listen to documentaries, and sermons, and play solitaire on the computer.

This isn’t a New Year’s resolution, but I have stopped drinking sugar-free drinks and started intermittent fasting. I eat from 11 am to 6 pm and fast for 17, sometimes 18 hours. After watching The Diary of A CEO, I learned that fasting for 18 hours can help with: (1) Weight loss, (2) Improved blood sugar regulation, (3) Decreased inflammation, (4) Improved physical stress response, (5) Autophagy, a process that recycles and renews old cells. My favorite reasons are 1 and 3.

It was hard to determine when was a good window for eating. This meant I had to make a schedule and stick to it. If I did drink a sugar-free soda, I could feel the effects it had on me in 24 hours. Without it, I don’t crave sweets and I am okay with not eating for 17-18 hours. Whenever I get a craving for Coke Zero, I try to remember that and then I pinch some fat on my body to reaffirm my want to continue and make better decisions. I don’t mind getting older, but I don’t want to be backed in a corner where one day I wake up unable to fix the damage my weight is causing me. People will wait until they have had a heartache, need knee replacements, or become diabetic.

A walk a day is not enough, because there are unused muscles causing problems with balance and joint pains. I started doing Pilates for beginners. I thought about recording my sessions, while my cheerleader (Ace) woo’s me on. The only move he knows is the downward dog. I didn’t have a yoga mat, so I used the couch cushion. I sunk in and did terribly. Ace got off his doggy bed and it was clear he wanted to swap, maybe offer up his own bed for me to do better. I finally agreed and realized, his bed really needed to be washed. Ace lay comfortably on the large couch cushion as I did Child’s pose on his bed and was instructed to take deep breaths.

The next day, I ventured out to the little town of Mosjøen, Norway to find a store that sold yoga mats. There are no Walmarts here, but I did find Biltema, which had exactly what I needed. It has been several days of exercising and intermittent fasting and I can feel a change in my body. Although, I am not sure how much, I keep reminding myself it hasn’t even been a month! I keep looking in the mirror every morning, expecting to see a radical change. I am not giving up.

I finally finished the first of three scripts and I am having a hard time concentrating. I am not sure if it is because of the new regime, but my ADHD levels have been more unbearable. My mind races at night, I toss and turn and push past memories away. I push the feeling of loneliness away and remind myself to be thankful to God who gives to me generously.

I was warned that my tenant had lost their source of income and needed to find a new job to pay rent, but so far they have been able to provide me with money for my mortgage. I had to get a visa to stay in the Schengen area legally. If I left Europe now, I might get in trouble while crossing the border back to the UK, for staying over 90 days. It was strongly advised for me to not leave Norway, not even to Sweden, until the visa was decided upon. So I lost the Airbnb deposit of $750 for March. Airbnb refunded $13 for the cleaning fee since I canceled before it was time to check in, which was nice, I guess…

In a turn of events, my current, very nice Airbnb host was gracious enough to allow me to stay for free in March. He felt it was fine, but I knew I had to contribute something. So I cook him dinners on the days that he is home and I supply him with his favorite, Coke Zero. Yes, he drinks my favorite vice, I must stay strong on my journey to being healthier and fit!

Ace news, he no doubt misses his family and friends. We do meet dogs around Mosjøen, but the nearest dog park is 41 minutes away and there is no guarantee of dogs being there. I went once and had to wait two hours before someone showed up with their dogs. Thankfully he was open to allowing Ace to play with his two girls. Not all dogs are social and kind. Ace has been attacked in the past and it breaks my heart every time. He has such a sweetheart and is open to making friends with anyone, big or small. The ladies love him at the vet, they give him treats and cuddles. He posed with treats for the owner of the pet store, Dyr og hobby. He is a true gentleman.