Mosjøen, Norway

It is easy to think lowly of ourselves. Who else is there to think of all our mistakes than the devil who gladly reminds us on a daily basis. Especially right when your head hits the pillow. This is the biggest reason why we distract ourselves with movies, series, games, and our phones.

There have been times when God calls me to fast from these things, but when I think about what I would be doing instead of the entertainment, I become sad. I should be happy, I should be thrilled that I get to do what most people wish they could. Retire and travel… That’s what everyone expresses in their dreams, that they will finally be happy in a particular place in their life. Call me crazy, but I was happiest in the work mix, feeling needed. Sure, I had my moments of being overly exhausted in the morning and wanting to call off. I always think of a verse that talks about work. Colossians 3:23 “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord…” When God made Adam, he set him to work in the garden in the very first book of the Bible. It is no coincidence that people die shortly after retiring; we were meant to work.

Most everyone I know identifies themselves by what they do. So, who are you when you do not work anymore? Are you ‘the retired’? Are you the Has-Been? How little we think of ourselves, as the worms referenced in the Bible. God created us in His image. Those who accept the blood of Christ are adopted into the family of Royalty. And the reason why I am talking about this is because this is an identity that I have been struggling with. Part of that struggle is listening to what other people call us. Parents have a huge impact on our development and on how we see ourselves. I had a mother who called me a wimp when I admitted I needed help because of my disability. Or when I was 17 years old and lost my virginity, my mom was upset and told me I was not special anymore. Many examples repeat the theme that we are simply not good enough. Rejection, betrayal, looked at with disdain or disgust.

The concept of God loving me despite myself is hard to digest. People can be so cruel and critical of each other. So if people are like that, then why would the Almighty, perfect God be any less critical of us? There are many verses to look at to answer this question. First verse, John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

Romans 8:38-39 ” For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

And if you say, if He loves us so much, then why does my life suck? I am not rich or famous; everything is a struggle. Maybe you are disabled like me, and you experience daily pain. The latest struggle has been a prolapse in my lower spine, causing burning sharp pain to emanate from the left side of my groin, around the side into my butt and down the leg into my foot. When I do my daily walks with Ace, I experience the pulsating pain from the light exercise. It is the only physical thing we look forward to every day. It started to affect my sleep, and I could feel the anxiety/depression grow. Trust me when I tell you, I know the pain and the frustration of just being. The promise of paradise and a new body sounds better and better every day.

But I came across this verse and felt the deep meaning of it. Hebrews 12:7 – 9 “Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined – and everyone undergoes discipline – then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us, and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live!

The church I knew growing up promised that life would be better if I were a Christ follower. I am guessing that I need a lot of correction! But strangely, what comforts me is the fact that Jesus went through so much rejection, betrayal, and pain. His life is a beacon to my relationship with God. It’s a hard lesson, and it is even harder to convey in a way that I am telling people to seek comfort through their pain and frustrations. When my brothers and I were little, we would get mad at my dad because before spanking us. He would say, “I do this because I love you.” And we would murmur to each other, “I wish you didn’t love us.” I laugh now, because I can see the impact of knowing consequences and how it has saved me from making bad choices.

My dad used to call me Cinderella when I was a little girl. He saw kindness, and it broke my heart when I experienced emotional pain. Emotions are normal, but we need to be wary that the devil is seeking any opportunity, like a prowling lion, to devour us. Instead of allowing pain to take root in bitter form and grow into hatred, we need an outlet. A therapist would suggest artistic form or exercise. They aren’t wrong, we were made in the image of God, the greatest artist and most active of us all. However, it is clear that the inspirer wants a relationship with us. He disciplines us like a father. Many kids without fathers end up committing crimes. Angry children who feel rejected are snatched up into Satan’s family tree, a part of a world that feeds off of hatred and the vulnerable. Although my mom tried many times to divorce my dad, my dad simply would not give up on the marriage, nor would he separate from his children. His parents had divorced, and he knew the pain and shame of that separation and vowed never to do it. He stayed in an abusive relationship because he loved us so much, and he still loved my mother. That is a greater example of selfless love and sacrifice as a Christ follower.

I’m single because I don’t believe in divorce, and murder is illegal. I’m half joking. Relationships are hard, so I depend on God to determine the person for me. If he hasn’t chosen anyone, remember, He can see the future. Then I am not about to come up to the next schmuck putting on a nice face to lure me in. Cause when their true colors come out, you are in pretty deep and it is difficult to get out of.

What would happen if we thought like royalty? If we knew our true identities in Christ? We would set better standards for ourselves. We would do the job, not just for ourselves but for those around us. Kings and queens have to keep the well-being of others in mind. It wouldn’t be just what can I get out of it, but how can I make the world a better place from where I am? What else would change? Your thought process and how you perceive yourself. How we look at ourselves impacts our interactions with other people daily. When someone gossips about you, you are above that. You are a queen or a king; you do not need to justify or prove anything. When I hear something hurtful, I ask God what He thinks of me. I encourage you to do this and hear the results. He has so much He wants to tell you, and it is very good.

I call Ace, my little prince. He is pretty spoiled with cream cheese and chicken. He always has a treat next to him. He gets lots of cuddles and kisses. But there are things that I do that he does not like. One of them is brushing his thick double coat and trimming his nails. These things are necessary despite his cries of protest. The other thing he doesn’t like is that sometimes on our walks, I have to put him on the leash. Generally, I will choose locations in the woods where he can roam freely. I wouldn’t be able to do that if he chose to run away from me. But if we come across another dog walker, Ace is so friendly. He will walk right up to the other dog, expecting to make a new friend. My concern is the respect towards the other owner; they are afraid that my dog will attack theirs. I already know what Ace will do. He uses his hip to bump the threatening dog off. He disengages from the threat. Which is pretty amazing, but nonetheless, it is wrong for me to allow him to walk up to anyone. When I call him, sometimes he slows his pace down, but still moves forward. I laugh because he is sort of listening, but being a little bratty about it. I imagine God is the same with us; He loves us so much and is keeping us from running up and trying to be friends with dangerous people. Once Ace is on the leash, I ask the owner if he can say hi to their dog. It is controlled so that I can pull Ace out of harms way. I also keep him from running across the street or in front of a bicyclist.

When Ace didn’t listen and almost ran in front of a car, I was angry because he could have died. God feels the same way for us. We are adopted into the royal family, and there are many dangers out there. When Ace listens to me, I give him praise and doggie treats. When I listen to God, he gives me many blessings.

Galatians 4:7 “So you are no longer slaves, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir.”

NOTE: I am working on a storytelling, which I will share in the next post. Enjoy!